Give the Catalans their own country and put a fence around it….whilst your atit I want a super U in Tavistock.
Training No Comments »I was crawling back up the mountain after a bike session considering whether I would be able to go faster if I grabbed hold of the rock face on the switch backs and pulled myself along instead of pedalling when I heard the ping. Once I’d established that it wasn’t the sound of me blowing I thought I should check the bike. Snapped Spoke, wheel too buckled to turn. I took my front break off and had just about enough clearance between the forks to keep going, not all bad I thought at least I’m going to get an extra 500m to add to the training log. I got to the Font Romeu bike shop, they had just closed for a 2 week summer holiday, I suppose being on holiday is a little better than being on strike like the rest of France, but it seems to be one or the other, so perhaps the bike shop will go on strike when they get back from holiday. The next morning it was a 1000m descent with no front break to Spain where apparently there was a big bike shop that would defiantly have spokes. I like to show a bit of willing with the local lingo so I’d looked up “I’ve broken my wheel” in Spanish. The first guy hit me a response that sounded like machine gun fire and finished with multiple repetitions of NO TENGO and pointing in the direction over another shop….off I wobbled. Shop number two 45 minutes and directions from 3 old ladies later I found the second shop apparently they didn’t tengo either but they did speak a little English and gave me directions for shop number 3 which seemed to be half way to Andorra. Off I went arriving at shop number 3 around 11.55am, silly me siesta starts at 12 and that really means ten to twelve, plus it goes on till 4pm. Seeing as I’d hit the valley I thought that’s fine, I’ll spin the bike on the flat for a few hours find a coffee and a baguette somewhere then get the wheel fixed. 4pm and I’m back at the shop, knackered hungry and beginning to hallucinate from dehydration. I’m lead to believe siesta includes all café’s petrol stations and supermarkets in Cataluna. At least this fellow tengo’d, “you have spoke?” Ce Tengo. You defiantly have spoke, look bladed? “Ce Tengo Tengo” but now just me, tomorrow morning you come? Ce, Gracias Senor “I’m glad I watched speedy Gonzales as a kid!”
Back up the mountain I went cursing every extra centimetre my front wheel gave me as it wobbled like a jelly. Bright an early the next morning (I wasn’t hitting siesta again) I took my life in my hands and descended sans break back to Spain. Into the shop and no sign of my amigo from yesterday who tengo’d, just the owner who provided me with the most impressive dog do on shoe look I’ve ever been given. This guy actually made service in U.K bike shops look good as he made me wait 20 minutes to inform me that he certainly didn’t tengo. At this stage I was starting to get a bit desperate so gave up my last modicum of dignity and tried to explain using the medium of mime that it was dangerous to ride with the wheel and could he order me a new spoke or let me rent another wheel. NO TENGO he told me. Before I took said snapped spoke and made a hole in his valour tracksuit bottoms with it I though I would have one last go. “Parle vous francais” Oui he tells me with a prefect French accent and a little grin, but I only sell bikes in Spanish” My little brother would know what to call this chap!
Dejected I rode back into France and past a tiny little bike shop that I hadn’t noticed before, In I went and gave the amply moustached man behind the counter a spin of my wheel. In return he used all the energy he could muster to show me possibly the biggest French shrug I had ever seen, before firing off with something about the terrible global shortage of bladed spokes. I could tell by the rat on his upper lip that this was a good man, so I tried again with the story about having been to every bike shop in a 50 mile radius, how evil the Spanish were and the potential risk of death when riding in the Pyrenees with no front break. He got his own bike, removed one of his ksyrium spokes and slotted it into my wheel, telling me he was sure the new spokes would arrive next week and charging me 3 euros for the pleasure.
I rode off with a grin from ear to ear, next stop the supermarket and back to bed, pulling up outside Super U I found a soiree going on they had a whole cow on a spit in the middle of the car park and were all sipping wine from little cups and talking animatedly with the use of plastic cutlery. Another nice French fellow this time without standard issue moustache asked if I wanted “some cow” next thing I’ve got the plastic cutlery a bit of French bread and half a rib cage on my plate and the guy is telling me how he is a cyclist and knows Mark Mckay the B.TA cycling coach, He works in the shop and wants me to look at the picture of the bike team he sponsors, the he’s given me his phone number and says if I want to do any riding while I’m up here to give him a shout. I’ve given the French a bit of bad press in my time, but even with their endless strikes and incredible shrugs today Vie La France! As for the Catalans give them their own country and put a fence around it.








